光之墙（1.1）特斯拉自述：我的早年生活

前不久看到了一份 FBI 关于神奇发明家尼古拉·特斯拉（Nikola Tesla，1856-1943）的解密档案（详见：特斯拉是外星人），发现特斯拉除了有一位亲密的记者朋友为他留下不少故事之外，竟然还有两位电气工程方面的亲传弟子，还留有著作。

特斯拉的思维模式，与世人心目中的科学家、发明家完全不同。现在的科学探索已经发现，宇宙的本质很可能与思维有直接关系，于是，特斯拉神奇的人生经历，会为我们带来诸多启迪，这极其难得而显珍贵，我已经在特斯拉自传（详见：他不是最后一个科学先知）中领教过不少。

现在找到他的弟子，一位和我算是同行的电气工程师马修斯（Arthur Henry Matthews，1893-1986）1971 年的著作《光之墙》，通过他在专业领域和我同声同气的这些文字，我得以换个角度再来认识特斯拉，说不定会有新的发现。所以，我会将此书翻译出来，陆续发在这里。

光之墙

特斯拉和金星太空船 X-12

阿瑟·马修斯 著

威廉 翻译（这只是一个粗译的版本）

The Wall of Light

Nikola Tesla and the Venusian Space Ship, The X-12

©1971, Arthur Henry Matthews

目录

第一部分　特斯拉的一生

前　言

第一章　我的早年生活（特斯拉自述）

第二章

第三章　特斯拉是如何构想出旋转磁场的？

第四章　探索特斯拉线圈和变压器

第五章

第六章

插　图　X-12 着陆（1941 年 4 月）

插　图　金星太空船 X-12（700 英尺宽）

第二部分

第一章　光之墙

第二章

第三章

第四章

插　图　特斯拉镜（1898）与金星通信

插　图　特斯拉镜（1967）6 英尺长，4 英寸宽

第五章

第六章

第七章

插　图　时间机器“银球”

插　图　巨大的太空船滑翔而下

第八章

第九章

插　图　来自火星的黄金机器

插　图　特斯拉 1917 年建造的太空船

第十章

第十一章

第十二章　向尼古拉·特斯拉致敬（1943 年首版）

第十三章　特斯拉发明的电动防御装置

第十四章　马修斯出版（魁北克市，1939）

第三部分

第一章　光之墙

第二章

第三章

第四章

第一部分　特斯拉的一生

前言

阿瑟·马修斯，电气工程师

世界上最伟大的发明家，他是如何搞发明创造的？这位奇人有着怎样的心态？他的早期生活是否和大多数男孩一样平凡？这个来自外太空的生命，早期受到了怎样的训练？他是一个地球人吗？他来自金星？他是在太空船上出生的吗？这些问题以及其他许多问题的答案，都将在这个故事里，从他本人的口中找到。

在这本书的开篇，是特斯拉关于他早年生活等方面的自传，从中我们会有一个很好的发现：这个人的精彩生活，读起来像一个童话，但奇怪的是，它是真实的。特斯拉不是普通的凡人。他过着充满魅力的生活：被医生放弃了至少三次；他在六十岁的时候是个年轻人，在七十岁的时候也是个年轻人；在他死的那一天——如果他真的死了的话，因为很多人认为他并没有死——他的思维一样敏锐。他总是说他会活到一百五十岁，所以，也许他还在金星上活着？这话现在可能很容易相信，因为如果人类能造出去月球或金星的火箭，就没有理由怀疑那个星球上的科学可能比地球人领先一千年。我们知道，UFO 在地球出现，古往今来都有。特斯拉说，他相信自己来自金星，在太空船降落在这个星球时，外星人说，特斯拉是来自金星的孩子。特斯拉会用他自己的话，来告诉你他的故事。仔细阅读这个故事的字里行间，你会有所发现。他有一个很大的缺点，就是他的慷慨。他本来可以成为地球上最富有的人。他赚了几百万，也花了几百万。他是一个顶级的理想主义者，对这种人来说，金钱本身并不重要。

第一章　我的早年生活

尼古拉·特斯拉

社会的发展和进步主要依赖发明，这是人类创造性大脑的最重要产物。发明的最终目的，是心灵对物质世界的完全掌握，是对自然力量的利用，以满足人类的需要。这是发明家的艰巨任务，却常常被人误解，而得不到回报。但是，他愉快地行使创造力时，他会知道自己属于一个特别优越的阶层，会得到充分回报的。没有他们，人类早就在无情而痛苦的争斗中灭亡了。就我自己而言，我已经充分得到了这种精致的享受，以至于许多年来，我的生活几乎是狂喜不断。如果把思想等同于劳动的话，我就是最勤奋的劳动者之一。也许我就是这样的人，因为我几乎把所有的清醒时间都奉献了出来。但是，如果把工作解释为在规定的时间内按照严格的规则进行明确的表演，那么我可能是最糟糕的闲人。

强迫下的每一次努力，都很耗神。我从未付出过这样的代价。恰恰相反，我依自己的思想茁壮成长。在试图对我的生命故事作一个连贯而忠实的描述时，我必须停留在我年轻时的印象，以及对决定我的事业起着重要作用的环境和事件上，尽管这很不情愿。我们最初的努力，纯粹是本能地促使想象力活灵活现而不受约束。随着我们年龄的增长，理智跑出来发号施令，我们变得越来越有为。但那些早期的冲动，虽然不是立即就产生结果，但却是最重要的时刻，可能就塑造了我们的命运。事实上，我现在觉得，如果我理解并顺着我的天性而不是压制，我留给世界的发明会多得多。可是直到我长大成人，我才意识到自己是个发明家。

这是由若干原因造成的。首先，我有一个哥哥，他的天赋异禀，这是生物研究无法解释的罕见的心理现象之一。他的早逝让我的地球父母（Earth parents）心灰意冷。后面我会说到我的“地球父母”。我家有一匹马，是一位挚友送给我们的。它是一匹阿拉伯种的壮丽动物，拥有近乎人类的智慧，受到全家人的照顾和爱抚，有一次在紧急关头救了我爸的命。

有一个冬夜，我父亲被叫去执行一项紧急任务，在穿越狼群出没的山路时，马受到惊吓，猛地把父亲甩在地上。马跑回家时血流满面，筋疲力尽，但在救人的警报响起后，它又立即飞奔回到原地，搜救队伍还没走多远，就见到我父亲，他已经恢复了意识，骑在马上，他没想到自己已经在雪地里躺了几个小时。这匹马也是造成我哥哥受伤而死的罪魁祸首。我亲眼目睹了这一悲惨的场面，虽然已经过去了这么多年，还是历历在目。回忆起哥哥的成就，我的一切努力都显得黯淡无光。我所做的任何值得称道的事情，都只会加深我的父母的丧子之痛。所以，我从小就对自己没有什么信心。

从一件我至今仍记忆犹新的事件来判断的话，我绝不是别人眼中的蠢孩子。有一天，议员们经过一条街道，我正在那里和其他男孩玩耍。这些可敬的绅士中最年长的一位，是个有钱人，他停下来给每个孩子发一枚钱币。来到我面前，他突然停下来，命令道：“看着我的眼睛。”我直视他的目光，伸出手去接过那枚价值不菲的钱币，这时，他沮丧地说：“不，给你的不多，我也给不了你什么，你太聪明了。”

大家时常提及我的一件趣事。我有两个满脸皱纹的老姨，其中一个阿姨有两颗牙齿像象牙一样突了出来，每次吻我的时候，那两颗牙很扎脸。没有什么会比被这些热情而又难看的亲戚更让我害怕了。碰巧被问到两老姨谁更漂亮，而我又被母亲抱在怀里的时候，我会仔细观察两张脸，然后指着其中一个人，若有所思地回答说：“这里的这个没那个丑。”

话又说回来，我从一出生就注定要继承父业，将来从事神职人员的工作，这种想法一直让我感到郁塞。我渴望成为一名工程师，但我爸就是一根筋。他是一位军官的儿子，曾在伟大的拿破仑（Napoléon III，1808-1873）的军队中服役。和我的叔伯一样，父亲在一所著名的机构中担任数学教授，接受过军事教育。但奇怪的是，后来他成为神职人员，并取得了杰出的成就。他是一个非常博学的人，是一个名副其实的自然哲学家、诗人和作家，他的布道，据说和亚伯拉罕·阿·桑克塔·克拉拉（Abraham a-Sancta-Clara）一样雄辩有力。他的记忆力惊人，经常用几种语言长篇大论地背诵经典。他常戏言，如果这些经典作品遗失了，他可以去找回来。他的文风备受推崇。他写的句子短小精悍，充满了诙谐和讽刺。他的幽默言论总是很奇特，很有特色。为了说明这一点，我可以举一两个例子。

在农场帮工中，有个五大三粗的人叫马尼。有一天，他正在劈柴。当他挥动斧头时，旁边的父亲觉得很不对劲，就告诫他说：“看在上帝的份上，马尼，不要劈你盯着的东西，而要劈你打算劈的东西。”

还有一次，他带朋友去兜风，朋友那昂贵的毛皮大衣不小心擦到了马车的轮子。我爸就提醒他说：“管好你的大衣，别把我的轮子搞坏了。”

他有自言自语的怪癖，经常对着空气说话，还沉迷在激烈的争论中，变换着语气。如果碰巧被外人听见，那人可能会发誓说，房间里面有好几个人。

我的创造天赋虽然全归功于母亲对我的影响，但她对我的训练一定是有帮助的，这包括了各种的练习。比如猜测对方的想法，发现某种表达方式的缺陷，复述长长的句子，进行心算。这些日常课程，强化了我的记忆和理智，尤其是培养批判性思维，这无疑是非常有益的。

母亲是我们国家（塞尔维亚）最古老的家族之一的后裔，这是一个发明家的家族，她的父亲和祖父都发明了许多家庭、农业和其他用途的工具。她是一个真正伟大的女人，拥有罕见的技能、勇气和毅力，她勇敢地面对生活，并经历了许多艰难的时候。在她 16 岁的时候，一场大瘟疫席卷了整个国家。她的父亲被叫去给垂死的人举行最后的圣礼，在我外公外出的时候，她独自去照顾邻居一个被这可怕疾病困扰的家庭。那家人一共有五个相继死去。她去清洁遗体、穿衣、摆放，按照当地的习俗用鲜花装饰，当她父亲回来时，发现一切都准备好了，可以进行基督教葬礼。

母亲是个一流的发明家，我相信，如果活在现代社会里，她会取得伟大的成就。她发明和建造了各种工具和设备，用她纺的线织出了最美丽的图案。她甚至亲自播种、养殖、加工纤维。她孜孜不倦地工作，从白天到深夜，家里的大部分服装和家具都是她亲手制作的。她六十多岁时，手指还能灵活地在一根睫毛上打三个结。

我懂事得很晚有另一个更重要的原因。在我的童年时代，我有一种别人没有的痛苦，因为看到一些影像，常常伴随着强烈的闪光，这样就破坏了我对实物的视觉，干扰了我的思想和行动。那都是我亲眼目睹场景，而不是想象中的画面。当我听到一个单词，所指物的形象会生动地呈现在我的眼前，有时我完全无法分辨，我所看到的东西是具体的，或只是个幻象。这让我感到非常的不舒服和焦虑。我问过学心理学或生理学的，没有一个人的解释能令我满意。这似乎是独一无二的，尽管我可能有先天性的倾向，因为我知道我的哥哥也经历过类似的麻烦。我能想到的是，这些影像是大脑在高度兴奋下投射到视网膜的结果。它们当然不是病态的，也不是在痛苦的头脑中产生的幻觉，因为在其他方面我是正常的和清醒的。为了让大家了解我的痛苦，你们可以想象我目睹了一场葬礼，或一些类似的令人紧张的场面，然后在夜深人静的时候，不可避免地，一幅幅生动的画面就会出现在我的眼前，尽管我竭力想把它赶走，但它仍然存在。如果我的解释是正确的，那么，在屏幕上投射出一个人所想的任何物体的形象，并使之可见，应该是可能的。这种进步将彻底改变所有的人类关系。我相信，这一奇迹能够，而且将会在未来实现。我可以补充说，我花了大量的时间去思考这个问题及解决的方法。

我曾设法把这样一幅我在脑海中看到的景象，映射到另一个房间里的另一个人的脑海中。为了把自己从这些折磨人的画面中解脱出来，我试着把心思集中在我所看到的其他东西上，这样，我常常会得到暂时的解脱。不过，为此我必须不断地唤出新的景象。不久我就发现，我已经用尽了我所能想象到的所有形象，我的 “电影胶片”已经放完了，因为我几乎没看过我家和周围环境之外的物件。当我第二次或第三次进行这些心理操作，以便从我的视觉中赶走那些不想见到的景象时，我的法子逐渐失效。然后，我本能地开始超越我所知道的小世界的限制去遨游，我看到了新的场景。起初，这些场景非常模糊不清，当我试图集中注意力时，却烟消云散。这种力量越来越强大，景象越来越清晰，最终呈现出真实事物的样子。我很快就发现，如果只要在我的视野中一直走下去，就会持续看到新的景象。这对我是最好的安慰，于是我就开始这样去旅游，当然，这都只是在我的头脑中。每天晚上，有时是在白天，当我独自一人的时候，我就会开始我的神游，去新的地方、新的城市和新的国家，去那玩，认识一些人，结交一些朋友，也见到熟人。不管多么的不可思议，但事实是，他们对我来说，就像现实生活中的那些人一样亲切，而且他们的表现也毫不逊色。

这种状况一直持续到我 17 岁，才想到要将这种能力用在发明创造上。然后，我高兴地发现，多大的设备我都可以将之可视化。我不需要建模、画图纸或进行实验，我可以在脑海中把它们都想象成真实的样子。因此，我在不知不觉中，就发展出一种新的思维方法去搞发明。这种方法与纯粹的实验性方法截然相反。在我看来，这种方法更加迅速和有效。

当一个人建造一个装置来实践一个粗浅的想法时，他发现自己不可避免地沉浸在装置的细节中。当他继续改进和重建的时候，他的专注力就会被分散，他就会失去对伟大的基本原则的关注。结果是可以得到的，但总是以牺牲质量为代价。我的方法是不同的。我不急于进行实际的工作。当我有了一个想法的时候，我立即开始在我的想象中建立它，在脑海中建造设备，改善结构，操作运转。对我来说，不管是在我的思想还是在车间里开动、测试我的涡轮机（turbine）完全不重要，这没有任何区别，结果都是一样的。我甚至会注意到它是否失衡。通过这种方式，我能够在不接触任何东西的情况下，迅速发展和完善一个概念。当我把我能想到的所有可能的改进都体现在发明中，并且没有发现任何错误的时候，我就会把我大脑中的这个最终产品具体化。我的装置总能按照我的设想工作，实验的结果也完全按照我的计划进行。二十年来，没有一个例外。工程和电机，怎么会有不同？从结果上看，都是要做成功。几乎没有一个课题不能根据现有的理论和实践数据，事先进行数学处理，计算出效果或确定结果。我认为，像现在这样把一个粗浅的想法付诸实践，都是在浪费精力、金钱和时间，这一无是处。

就这样，我小时候的苦难就有了另一种补偿。不断的精神消耗，反而造就了我的观察力，让我发现了一个非常重要的真理。我注意到，在特殊和特别异常的情况下，影像的出现总是先于实际的场景视觉，而我每次都被驱使着去寻找最初的冲动。一段时间后，这种努力几乎是自发的，知道因果关系让我获益匪浅。很快我就意识到，让我惊讶的是，我的每一个想法都来自于外在的印象。不仅如此，我的所有行为也以类似的方式被推动。随着时间的推移，我看得越来越清楚，我只是一个有着响应感官器官的刺激，去思考，有相应行动能力的自动化终端。实际上这就是远程自动控制的艺术。迄今为止，它的实施还不完善。然而，其潜在的可能性最终将被显示出来。我多年来一直在计划自主控制的自动机器，并相信可以生产出有一定智能的机器，这在工商业上将引发一场革命。我在大约 12 岁的时候，第一次通过意志力，成功地将幻象从我的视觉中驱逐出去，但我从来没有控制过我所提到的那些闪光。它们也许是我最奇怪和莫名其妙的经历。它们通常发生在我意识到自己处于危险或痛苦的境地时，或者在我非常兴奋的时候。在某些情况下，我看到虚空中充满了活灵活现的火舌。它们的强度非但没有减弱，反而随着时间的推移而增加，似乎在我 25 岁左右时最为鼎盛。

1883 年在巴黎时，一位著名的法国制造商向我发出邀请，请我参加一次射击探险活动，我去了。我长期待在工厂里，新鲜空气对我来讲是神奇的兴奋剂。当天晚上我回到城里时，我感到兴奋，大脑在燃烧。我看到了一束光，仿佛有个小太阳在里面，我冷敷了让我饱受折磨的脑袋一整夜。最后，闪光的频率和强度都有所减弱，但过了三个多星期才完全消失。当有人向我再发邀请时，我说，“不！”

这些发光现象仍不时地发作，就像当一个开启可能性的新想法打动我一样，但它们不再令我兴奋，强度也相对较小。当我闭上眼睛的时候，我总是先观察到一个非常黑暗和均匀的蓝色背景，不像是一个晴朗但没有星星的夜晚的天空。几秒钟后，这个领域变得活跃起来，无数闪烁的绿色片状物，排列成几层，向我推进。然后，在右边出现了一个美丽的图案，由两束平行而紧密的线条组成，以黄、绿和金为主的各种颜色彼此排成直角。紧接着，线条越来越亮，整个画面上密密麻麻地洒满了闪烁的光点。这幅画在视野中缓缓移动，大约十秒钟后就在左边消失了，留下一地颇为不悦和惰性的灰色，很快就让位于飘逸的云海，似乎想把自己塑造成有生命的形状。奇怪的是，在达到第二阶段之前，我无法在这片灰色中投射出形体。每次，在入睡前，我的视野中都会出现一些人或物的形象。当我看到它们时，我知道自己即将失去意识。如果它们不在，不肯来，就意味着一个不眠之夜。想象力在我早年的生活中起了多大的作用，我可以用另一个奇怪的经历来说明。

和大多数孩子一样，我喜欢蹦蹦跳跳，并产生了在空中漂浮的强烈愿望。偶尔有一股富含氧气的强风从山上吹来，使我的身体轻如软木，然后我就会纵身一跃，在空中漂浮很久。那是一种愉快的感觉，但当我意识到这只是自己的想法时，我又十分失落。在那段时间里，我染上了许多嗜好、怪癖和习惯，其中有些我可以追溯到外因，而另一些则无法解释。我对女人的耳环有一种强烈的反感，但其它饰物，如手镯，有些设计会让我喜欢。一看到珍珠我几乎就要发火，但我着迷于水晶或锐利物件的边缘的闪光。我不会碰别人的头发，除非被枪顶着。我看一个桃子就会发烧，如果房子里有一块樟脑，就会引起我最强烈的不适。即使是现在，我也不是对这些令人不安的冲动毫无察觉。当纸片掉进装满液体的盘子里时，我总能感觉到嘴里有一种奇特而可怕的味道。我计算着走路的步数，计算着汤盘、咖啡杯和食物碎片的体积，否则我就会吃得不尽兴。我所做的所有要重复的行为，都必须是三的倍数，如果不是，我就会有重做一遍的冲动，哪怕要花上几个小时。在八岁之前，我的性格是软弱和飘忽不定的。我既没有勇气也没有力量来坚定决心。我的感情一波一波地涌来，在两个极端之间不停地震动。我的愿望都很耗神，就像多头蛇许德拉（hydra）的头，砍它就翻倍地长。我被生死的痛苦和宗教的恐惧所压迫，我被迷信所左右，一直生活在恶灵、鬼魂、食人魔和其他邪恶的黑暗怪物的恐怖阴影中。然后，一下子发生了巨大的变化，改变了我的整个生命。

在所有的事情中，我最喜欢看书。我父亲有一个很大的图书馆，只要可能，我都会去满足我阅读的热情。他不允许我这样做，当他发现我在看书时，会大发雷霆。当他发现我偷偷在书时，他就会把蜡烛藏起来。他不想让我看坏眼睛。但我弄来牛油，自制了灯芯，做了个锡模来铸造蜡烛棒。每天晚上我都会堵住钥匙孔和门缝在看书，常常看到天亮。当所有人都睡去，我的母亲又开始她艰巨的日常务事。

有一次，我看到了一本名为《阿奥菲：阿巴之子》（Aoafi, the son of Aba）¹ 的小说，这是一位著名的匈牙利作家约西卡（Miklós Jósika，1794-1865）的塞尔维亚语译本。这部作品在某种程度上唤醒了我沉睡的意志力，我开始练习自我控制。起初，我的决心像四月的白雪一样消逝了，但不久之后，我就战胜了自己的弱点，感受到了一种前所未有的快乐，那就是按照自己的意愿行事。

随着时间的推移，这种剧烈的精神活动成了我的第二天性。一开始，我的愿望必须被压制，但渐渐地，欲望和意志变得一致。经过多年的训练，我完全掌握了自己，以至于我可以玩一些激情，而这些激情对一些最强壮的人来说意味着毁灭。到了一定的年龄，我染上了狂热的赌瘾，这让我的父母非常担心。对我来说，坐下来打牌就很快乐。我父亲的生活堪称典范，他不能原谅我沉迷于赌博而毫无意义地浪费时间和金钱。我有坚定的决心，但我的哲学很糟糕。我会对他说：“我可以随时停止，但放弃那些我用天堂的欢乐换来的东西，值得吗？”他经常发泄他的愤怒和蔑视，但我母亲不同。她了解这种人性，知道一个人的救赎只能通过自己的努力来实现。我记得，有一天下午，当我输光了所有，正想另寻消遣时，她拿着一卷钞票走过来对我说：“拿去，你越早把家败光越好。我知道，你会熬过去的。”她说的没错。我即时就征服了我的赌瘾，只遗憾它没有百倍的强烈。我不仅征服了，而且把它从我的心里撕碎了，再不留一丝欲望。

从那时起，我对任何形式的赌博都像剔牙一样无动于衷。在另一个时期，我吸烟过度，有可能毁掉我的健康。后来，我坚定了意志，我不仅停止了吸烟，而且彻底戒掉。很久以前，我患有心脏病，直到我发现这是因为我每天早上喝的那杯无辜的咖啡，我立即就戒了，尽管我承认这不是一件容易的事。通过这种方式，我抑制和克服了坏习惯和情绪，这不仅保住了我的命，而且从大多数人以为是要牺牲私欲的事情中得到了极大的满足。

在完成理工学院和大学的学业后，我的精神完全崩溃了，在患病期间，我观察到了许多现象，奇怪而不可思议……

（未完，待续）

译注：

¹ 英文版：http://www.doc88.com/p-14387047591788.html

原文

PART ONE The Life of Tesla

FOREWORDBYARTHUR HENRY MATTHEWS, E. E.

How did the world's greatest inventor invent? How did he carry out an invention? What sort of mentality did this wonder man have? Was his early life as commonplace as most boys'? What was the early training of this man from Space? Was he an Earth man? Did he come from the planet Venus? Was he born on a space ship? The answers to these and many other questions will be found in this story from the lips of the man himself.

In this autobiography concerning his early youth, and so on, we obtain a good insight into the wonderful life of this man led. It reads like a fairy tale, but strange as it may be, it is true. Tesla was no common mortal. He led a charmed life -- given up by doctors at least three times as dead, he was a young man at sixty and at seventy; with a brain just as keen the day he died. (if he did die, for many believe he did not). He always said he would live to the age of one hundred and fifty, so perhaps he is alive on Venus? That might be easy to believe now for if man can build a rocket to the Moon or Venus, there is no reason to doubt that science on that planet could be a thousand years ahead of Earth man's. We know that space ships have landed on Earth, all through the ages. Tesla said that he believes he came from the planet Venus, and during the landings of a space ship on my property, the members of that ship said that Tesla was a child from Venus. Tesla will tell you in his own words, what he believed. Read the story with care; there is a lot between the lines, as you will see. He had one great vice -- his generosity. He could have been the richest man on Earth. He made and spent millions. He was an idealist of the highest order, and to such men, money itself means but little.

CHAPTER 1 MY EARLY LIFE BY NIKOLA TESLA

The progressive development of man is vitally dependent on invention. It is the most important product of his creative brain. Its ultimate purpose is the complete mastery of mind over the material world, the harnessing of the forces of nature to human needs. This is the difficult task of the inventor who is often misunderstood and unrewarded. But he finds ample compensation in the pleasing exercises of his power and in the knowledge of being on of that exceptionally privileged class without whom the race would have long ago perished in the bitter struggle against pitiless elements. Speaking for myself, I have already had more than my full measure of this exquisite enjoyment; so much, that for many years my life was little short of continuous rapture. I am credited with being one of the hardest workers and perhaps I am, if thought is the equivalent of labour, for I have devoted to it almost all of my waking hours. But if work is interpreted to be a definite performance in a specified time according to a rigid rule, than I may be the worst of idlers.

Every effort under compulsion demands a sacrifice of life-energy. I never paid such a price. On the contrary, I have thrived on my thoughts. In attempting to give a connected and faithful account of my activities in this story of my life, I must dwell, however reluctantly, on the impressions of my youth and the circumstances and events which have been instrumental in determining my career. Our first endeavors are purely instinctive prompting of an imagination vivid and undisciplined. As we grow older reason asserts itself and we become more and more systematic and designing. But these early impulses, tho not immediately productive, are of the greatest moment and may shape our very destinies. Indeed, I feel now that had I understood and cultivated instead of suppressing them, I would have added substantial value to my bequest to the world. But not until I had attained manhood did I realize that I was an inventor.

This was due to a number of causes. In the first place I had a brother who was gifted to an extraordinary degree; one of those rare phenomena of mentality which biological investigation has failed to explain. His premature death left my Earth parents disconsolate. (I will explain my remarks about my "Earth parents" later). We owned a horse which had been presented to us by a dear friend. It was a magnificent animal of Arabian breed, possessed of almost human intelligence, and was cared for and petted by the whole family, having on one occasion saved my father's life under remarkable circumstances.

My father had been called one Winter night to perform an urgent duty and while crossing the mountains, infested with wolves, the horse became frightened and ran away, throwing him violently to the ground. It arrived home bleeding and exhausted, but after the alarm was sounded, immediately dashed off again, returning to the spot, and before the searching party were far on the way they were met by my father, who had recovered consciousness and remounted, not realizing that he had been lying in the snow for several hours. This horse was responsible for my brother's injuries from which he died. I witnessed the tragic scene and altho so many years have elapsed since, my visual impression of it has lost none of its force. The recollection of his attainments made every effort of mine seem dull in comparison. Anything I did that was creditable merely caused my parents to feel their loss more keenly. So I grew up with little confidence of myself.

But I was far from being considered a stupid boy, if I am to judge from an incident of which I have still a strong remembrance. One day the Aldermen were passing thru a street where I was playing with other boys. The oldest of these venerable gentlemen, a wealthy citizen, paused to give a silver piece to each of us. Coming to me, he suddenly stopped and commanded, "Look in my eyes." I met his gaze, my hand outstretched to receive the much valued coin, when to my dismay, he said, "No, not much; you can get nothing from me. You are too smart."

They use to tell a funny story about me. I had two old aunts with wrinkled faces, one of them having two teeth protruding like the tusks of an elephant, which she buried in my cheek every time she kissed me. Nothing would scare me more then the prospects of being by these affectionate, unattractive relatives. It happened that while being carried in my mother's arms, they asked me who was the prettier of the two. After examining their faces intently, I answered thoughtfully, pointing to one of them, "This here is not as ugly as the other."

Then again, I was intended from my very birth, for the clerical profession and this thought constantly oppressed me. I longed to be an engineer, but my father was inflexible. He was the son of an officer who served in the army of the Great Napoleon and in common with his brother, professor of mathematics in a prominent institution, had received a military education; but, singularly enough, later embraced the clergy in which vocation he achieved eminence. He was a very erudite man, a veritable natural philosopher, poetand writer and his sermons were said to be as eloquent as those of Abrahama-Sancta-Clara. He had a prodigious memory and frequently recited at length from works in several languages. He often remarked playfully that if some of the classics were lost he could restore them. His style of writing was much admired. He penned sentences short and terse and was full of wit and satire. The humorous remarks he made were always peculiar and characteristic. Just to illustrate, I may mention one or two instances.

Among the help, there was a cross-eyed man called Mane, employed to do work around the farm. He was chopping wood one day. As he swung the axe, my father, who stood nearby and felt very uncomfortable, cautioned him, " For God's sake, Mane, do not strike at what you are looking but at what you intend to hit."

On another occasion he was taking out for a drive, a friend who carelessly permitted his costly fur coat to rub on the carriage wheel. My father reminded him of it saying, "Pull in your coat; you are ruining my tire."

He had the odd habit of talking to himself and would often carry on an animated conversation and indulge in heated argument, changing the tone of his voice. A casual listener might have sworn that several people were in the room.

Altho I must trace to my mother's influence whatever inventiveness I possess, the training she gave me must have been helpful. It comprised all sorts of exercises - as, guessing one another's thoughts, discovering the defects of some form of expression, repeating long sentences or performing mental calculations. These daily lessons were intended to strengthen memory and reason, and especially to develop the critical sense, and were undoubtedly very beneficial.

My mother descended from one of the oldest families in the country and a line of inventors. Both her father and grandfather originated numerous implements for household, agricultural and other uses, She was a truly great woman,of rare skill, courage and fortitude, who had braved the storms of life and passed thru many a trying experience. When she was sixteen, a virulent pestilence swept the country. Her father was called away to administer the last sacraments to the dying and during his absence she went alone to the assistance of a neighboring family who were stricken by the dread disease. All of the members, five in number succumbed in rapid succession. She bathed, clothed and laid out the bodies, decorating them with flowers according to the custom of the country and when her father returned he found everything ready for a Christian burial.

My mother was an inventor of the first order and would, I believe, have achieved great things had she not been so remote from modern life and its multi-fold opportunities. She invented and constructed all kinds of tools and devices and wove the finest designs from thread which was spun by her. She even planted seeds, raised the plants and separated the fibres herself. She worked indefatigably, from break of day till late at night, and most of the wearing apparel and furnishings of the home were the product of her hands. When she was past sixty, her fingers were still nimble enough to tie three knots in an eyelash.

There was another and still more important reason for my late awakening. In my boyhood I suffered from a peculiar affliction due to the appearance of images, often accompanied by strong flashes of light, which marred the sight of real objects and interfered with my thoughts and action. They were pictures of things and scenes which I had really seen, never of those imagined. When a word was spoken to me the image of the object it designated would present itself vividly to my vision and sometimes I was quite unable to distinguish whether what I saw was tangible or not. This caused me great discomfort and anxiety. None of the students of psychology or physiology whom I have consulted, could ever explain satisfactorily these phenomena. They seem to have been unique altho I was probably predisposed as I know that my brother experienced a similar trouble. The theory I have formulated is that the images were the result of a reflex action from the brain on the retina under great excitation. They certainly were not hallucinations such as are produced in diseased and anguished minds, for in other respects I was normal and composed. To give an idea of my distress, suppose that I had witnessed a funeral or some such nerve-wracking spectacle. Then, inevitably, in the stillness of night, a vivid picture of the scene would thrust itself before my eyes and persist despite all my efforts to banish it. If my explanation is correct, it should be possible to project on a screen the image of any object one conceives and make it visible. Such an advance would revolutionize all human relations. I am convinced that this wonder can and will be accomplished in time to come. I may add that I have devoted much thought to the solution and the problem.

I have managed to reflect such a picture, which I have seen in my mind, to the mind of another person, in another room. To free myself of these tormenting appearances, I tried to concentrate my mind on something else I had seen, and in this way I would often obtain temporary relief; but in order to get it I had to conjure continuously new images. It was not long before I found that I had exhausted all of those at my command; my 'reel' had run out as it were, because I had seen little of the world-only objects in my home and the immediate surroundings. As I performed these mental operations for the second or third time, in order to chase the appearances from my vision, the remedy gradually lost all its force. Then I instinctively commenced to make excursions beyond the limits of the small world of which I had knowledge, and I saw new scenes. These were at first very blurred and indistinct, and would flit away when I tried to concentrate my attention upon them. They gained in strength and distinctness and finally assumed the concreteness of real things. I soon discovered that my best comfort was attained if I simply went on in my vision further and further, getting new impressions all the time, and so I began to travel; of course, in my mind. Every night, (and sometimes during the day), when alone, I would start on my journeys--see new places, cities and countries; live there, meet people and make friendships and acquaintances and, however unbelievable, it is a fact that they were just as dear to me as those in actual life, and not a bit less intense in their manifestations.

This I did constantly until I was about seventeen, when my thoughts turned seriously to invention. Then I observed to my delight that I could visualize with the greatest facility. I needed no models, drawings or experiments. I could picture them all as real in my mind. Thus I have been let unconsciously to evolve what I consider a new method of materializing inventive concepts and ideas, which is radically opposite to the purely experimental and is in my opinion ever so much more expeditious and efficient.

The moment one constructs a device to carry into practice a crude idea, he finds himself unavoidably engrossed with the details of the apparatus. As he goes on improving and reconstructing, his force of concentration diminishes and he loses sight of the great underlying principle. Results may be obtained, but always at the sacrifice of quality. My method is different. I do not rush into actual work. When I get an idea, I start at once building it up in my imagination. I change the construction, make improvements and operate the device in my mind. It is absolutely immaterial to me whether I ran my turbine in thought or test it in my shop. I even note if it is out of balance. There is no difference whatever; the results are the same. In this way I am able to rapidly develop and perfect a conception without touching anything. When I have gone so far as to embody in the invention every possible improvement I can think of and see no fault anywhere, I put into concrete form this final product of my brain. Invariably my device works as I conceived that it should, and the experiment comes out exactly as I planned it. In twenty years there has not been a single exception. Why should it be otherwise? Engineering, electrical and mechanical, is positive in results. There is scarcely a subject that cannot be mathematically treated and the effects calculated or the results determined beforehand, from the available theoretical and practical data. The carrying out into practice of a crude idea as is being generally done, is, I hold nothing but a waste of energy, money, and time.

My early affliction had however, another compensation. The incessant mental exertion developed my powers of observation and enabled me to discover a truth of great importance. I had noted that the appearance of images was always preceded by actual vision of scenes under peculiar and generally very exceptional conditions, and I was impelled on each occasion to locate the original impulse. After a while this effort grew to be almost automatic and I gained great facility in connection cause and effect. Soon I became aware, to my surprise, that every thought I conceived was suggested by and external impression. Not only this but all my actions were prompted in a similar way. In the course of time it became perfectly evident to me that I was merely an automation end-owned with power OF MOVEMENT RESPONDING TO THE STIMULI OF THE SENSE ORGANS AND THINKING AND ACTING ACCORDINGLY. The practical result of this was the art of telautomatics which has been so far carried out only in an imperfect manner. Its latent possibilities will, however, be eventually shown. I have been years planning self-controlled automata and believe that mechanisms can be produced which will act as if possessed of reason, to a limited degree, and will create a revolution in many commercial and industrial departments. I was about twelve years of age when I first succeeded in banishing and image from my vision by wilful effort, but I never had any control over the flashes of light to whichI have referred. They were, perhaps, my strangest and inexplicable experience. They usually occurred when I found myself in a dangerous or distressing situation or when I was greatly exhilarated. In some instances I have seen all the air around me filled with tongues of living flame. Their intensity, instead of diminishing, increased with time and seemingly attained a maximum when I was about twenty-five years old.

While in Paris in 1883, a prominent French manufacturer sent me an invitation to a shooting expedition which I accepted. I had been long confined to the factory and the fresh air had a wonderfully invigorating effect on me. On my return to the city that night, I felt a positive sensation that my brain had caught on fire. I saw a light as tho a small Sun was located in it and I passed the whole night applying cold compressions on my tortured head. Finally the flashes diminished in frequency and force but it took more than three weeks before they wholly subsided. When a second invitation was extended to me, my answer was an emphatic NO!

These luminous phenomena still manifest themselves from time to time, as when a new idea opening up possibilities strikes me, but they are no longer exciting, being of relatively small intensity. When I close my eyes I invariably observe first, a background of very dark and uniform blue, not unlike the sky on a clear but starless night. In a few seconds this field becomes animated with innumerable scintillating flakes of green, arranged in several layers and advancing towards me. Then there appears, to the right, a beautiful pattern of two systems of parallel and closely spaced lines, at right angles to one another, in all sorts of colors with yellow, green, and gold predominating. Immediately thereafter, the lines grow brighter and the whole is thickly sprinkled with dots of twinkling light. This picture moves slowly across the field of vision and in about ten seconds vanishes on the left, leaving behind a ground of rather unpleasant and inert grey which quickly gives way to a billowy sea of clouds, seemingly trying to mould themselves into living shapes. It is curious that I cannot project a form into this grey until the second phase is reached. Every time, before falling asleep, images of persons or objects flit before my view. When I see them I know I am about to lose consciousness. If they are absent and refuse to come, it means a sleepless night. To what an extent imagination played a part in my early life, I may illustrate by another odd experience.

Like most children, I was fond of jumping and developed an intense desire to support myself in the air. Occasionally a strong wind richly charged with oxygen blew from the mountains, rendering my body as light as cork and then I would leap and float in space for a long time. It was a delightful sensation and my disappointment was keen when later I undeceived myself. During that period I contracted many strange likes, dislikes and habits, some of which I can trace to external impressions while others are unaccountable. I had a violent aversion against the earrings of women, but other ornaments, as bracelets, pleased me more or less according to design. The sight of a pearl would almost give me a fit, but I was fascinated with the glitter of crystals or objects sharp edges and plane surfaces. I would not touch the hair of other people except, perhaps at the point of a revolver. I would get fever by looking at a peach and if a piece of camphor was anywhere in the house it caused me the keenest discomfort. Even now I am not insensible to some of these upsetting impulses. When I drop little squares of paper in a dish filled with liquid, I always sense a peculiar and awful taste in my mouth. I counted the steps in my walks and calculated the cubical contents of soup plates, coffee cups and pieces of food, otherwise my meal was unenjoyable. All repeated acts of operations I performed had to be divisible by three and if I missed I felt impelled to do it all over again, even if it took hours. Up to the age of eight years, mycharacter was weak and vacillating. I had neither courage or strength to form a firm resolve. My feelings came in waves and surges and vibrated unceasingly between extremes. My wishes were of consuming force and like the heads of the hydra, they multiplied. I was oppressed by thoughts of pain in life and death and religious fear. I was swayed by superstitious belief and lived in constant dread of the spirit of evil, of ghosts and ogres and other unholy monsters of the dark. Then all at once, there came a tremendous change which altered the course of my whole existence.

Of all the things I liked books best. My father had a large library and whenever I could manage I tried to satisfy my passion for reading. He did not permit it and would fly in a rage when he caught me in the act. He hid the candles when he found that I was reading in secret. He did not want me to spoil my eyes. But I obtained tallow, made the wicking and cast the sticks into tin forms, and every night I would bush the keyhole and the cracks and read, often till dawn, when all others slept and my mother started on her arduous daily task.

On one occasion I came across a novel entitled 'Aoafi', (the son of Aba), a Serbian translation of a well know Hungarian writer, Josika. This work somehow awakened my dormant powers of will and I began to practice self-control. At first my resolutions faded like snow in April, but in a little while I conquered my weakness and felt a pleasure I never knew before -- that of doing as I willed.

In the course of time this vigorous mental exercise became second to nature. At the outset my wishes had to be subdued but gradually desire and will grew to be identical. After years of such discipline I gained so complete a mastery over myself that I toyed with passions which have meant destruction to some of the strongest men. At a certain age I contracted a mania for gambling which greatly worried my parents. To sit down to a game of cards was for me the quintessence of pleasure. My father led an exemplary life and could not excuse the senseless waste of time and money in which I indulged. I had a strong resolve, but my philosophy was bad. I would say to him, 'I can stop whenever I please, but is it worth while to give up that which I would purchase with the joys of Paradise?' On frequent occasions he gave vent to his anger and contempt, but my mother was different. She understood that character of men and knew that one's salvation could only be brought about thru his own efforts. One afternoon, I remember, when I had lost all my money and was craving for a game, she came to me with a roll of bills and said, 'Go and enjoy yourself. The sooner you lose all we possess, the better it will be. I know that you will get over it.' She was right. I conquered my passion then and there and only regretted that it had not been a hundred times as strong. I not only vanquished but tore it from my heart so as not to leave even a trace of desire.

Ever since that time I have been as indifferent to any form of gambling as to picking teeth. During another period I smoked excessively, threatening to ruin my health. Then my will asserted itself and I not only stopped but destroyed all inclination. Long ago I suffered from heart trouble until I discovered that it was due to the innocent cup of coffee I consumed every morning. I discontinued at once, tho I confess it was not an easy task. In this way I checked and bridled other habits and passions, and have not only preserved my life but derived an immense amount of satisfaction from what most men would consider privation and sacrifice.

After finishing the studies at the Polytechnic Institute and University, I had a complete nervous breakdown and while the malady lasted I observed many phenomena, strange and unbelievable...

（to be continued...）

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